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russianinterference

Campus officials began to speculate about possible collusion with the Russians after a 23andMe.com test revealed that Virk’s uncle is 0.03 percent Russian.

By Charlotte Adamo


A flyer for the Zarnab Virk ’20 Undergraduate Student Government (USG) presidential campaign was found translated into Russian and lying on the floor of the Slavic languages and literatures department, causing campus officials to speculate about possible collusion.

According to Fyootur Intel-Recroot ’20, the Slavic languages and literatures major who stumbled upon the flyer, the campaign ads read “Голосование за Зарнаб - это голос за Кремль,” which roughly translates to, “A vote for Zarnab is a vote for the Kremlin.”

Additionally, receipts submitted to USG by Virk’s campaign show multiple third-party payments in Russian rubles. 

These receipts include payment for pro-Virk advertisements that flooded Tigerbook in the days leading up to the election.

“When I saw that a third party purchased multiple online ads for Zarnab in rubles, I thought it was a bit unusual, but we’ve definitely seen stranger,” USG treasurer Ran Unaposed ’20 said. “Last year, for example, Rachel Yee ’19 paid for most of her posters with a mixture of Dogecoin, Bitconnect, and Ethereum.” 

“For whatever reason, USG presidential candidates have a history of avoiding U.S. currency,” she said.

Of course, Virk was not the only controversial candidate in this presidential election. Nate Lambert ’20 has been accused of conducting USG business on a non-University email account during his time as vice president. However, he has repeatedly defended those actions.

“It’s impossible to conduct USG business with the number of emails in my inbox,” Lambert said. “I get about 20 emails per minute from the Re-INNformer. With a separate, personal address, I can hear from my constituents without sifting through multiple pages of performance invitations, internship deadlines, and requests to share an Uber to the airport.”

Virk’s personal connections to Russian president Vladimir V. Putin, however, are undeniable. 

According to multiple sources, who have chosen to remain anonymous, Virk’s second cousin’s fourth grade teacher’s nephew bred the horse that Putin famously rode shirtless during a 2017 vacation to Serbia.

Also, as some students may point out, the spellings of “Zarnab Virk” and “Vladimir Putin” are eerily similar. 

If you take the letters in “Zarnab Virk,” rearrange them, remove the z, b, k, a, and r, and add an l, d, m, p, u, t, and two I’s you can spell “Vladimir Putin.” 

Though many consider this coincidental, some consider it worth looking into.

Additionally, according to secure documentation obtained from 23andMe.com, Virk’s uncle is 0.03 percent Russian. Some have construed this data as reason for Virk’s possible loyalty to the Kremlin.

Virk has taken to Twitter in recent days, calling the allegations against her “A TOTAL WITCH HUNT LIKE NO OTHER IN UNIVERSITY HISTORY.” 

Virk has also called out The Daily Princetonian for what she views as “constant negative press covfefe” of her campaign.

The American Whig-Cliosophic Society has scheduled a hearing on the matter. 

However, due to reasons not disclosed to the ‘Prince,’ Whig-Clio leaders decided last minute to not allow Virk to speak. Several of Virk’s accusers are scheduled to address students, followed by an audience Q&A.

“Due to the urgency of this matter, we felt the need to schedule a hearing immediately,” wrote Whig-Clio co-president Powdury Harepeece ’21 in an email to the ‘Prince.’ 

“Sadly, due to a scheduling mishap, we will be forced to cancel a conflicting free speech event, which was to feature University professor Keith Whittington and University of Pennsylvania professor Amy Wax. We apologize to both of them for the inconvenience and hope to reschedule soon.”

This article is part of The Daily Princetonian’s annual joke issue. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet!

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