1. Hug your parents.

2. Tell them you have work to do.

3. Send them to the University Art Museum.

4. Send them to a show.

5. Tell them you’re going to bed.

6. Tell them you’re not hungover.

7. Wait in line for an hour at PJ’s Pancake House.

8. Walk them through the U-Store.

9. Hug your parents again.

10. Sigh in relief.

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