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More on sexual misconduct

With the recent events surrounding the “Princeton Mom” and Tiger Inn, sexual misconduct has been talked about significantly both on campus and in the pages of The Daily Princetonian. The issue, however, is not only confined to our campus. As discussed in a recent article by fellow columnist Marni Morse, who addresses cases at other colleges, this is clearly a national problem. In light of all this, it may be tempting to feel that the topic has been sufficiently addressed. Yet, this coverage, while undoubtedly raising awareness for some, still maintains an environment that discourages others to talk.

Although women are often depicted as the victims of these crimes, men can also be victims of sexual misconduct. Granted, this isn’t a revolutionary claim, and I am sure many are aware that it happens. But it may be easy to lose scope of the problem. Based on the National Crime Victimization Survey, published by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, college-aged males make up 17% of all rape and sexual assault victimizations. Despite this, cases of sexual misconduct against men appear to be treated less seriously than those against women.

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This issue seems to be ignored because of both our cultural perception of men and the reinforcement of that perception by the media. As Steve LaPore, founder and director of 1in6, an organization that supports male victims of sexual misconduct, claims, “Culturally we still don’t want to see men as vulnerable. We tell little boys and men to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.” This stigma of self-preservation and masculinity placed upon men creates an environment in which they are almost discouraged to share their stories.

A recent article in the Huffington Post detailed how a student at Brown was sexually assaulted his freshman year. When he initially told his friends, he simply joked that it was a “5 a.m. hookup in the bathroom.” Eventually, he mustered the courage to file a formal complaint to his university and his assailant was successfully expelled. However, the assailant was only expelled because this was the third reported case against him. Brown had let the student off with only a one-semester suspension before.

These situations are further downplayed by the media. Instead of helping remove the stigma around sexual misconduct against men, the media has only helped to reinforce the perception that men don’t need help. For instance, in February 2014, actor Shia LaBeouf shared his story about being raped during his art showcase, #IAMSORRY. However, his story did not lead to an investigation or a serious talk about how men could be victims as well. Rather, people on social media downplayed the situation, even to the extent of making fun of him. CNN’s Piers Morgan called the story “truly pathetic.” Yet, LaBeouf and the student from Brown are not exceptions to the norm. Their stories are not only theirs, but also the stories of hundreds of other men. Their experiences are just as valid as that of any other victim and should be treated that way.

Unfortunately, this problem is especially ignored in the case of queer men, who already endure stigmatization merely for their sexual orientation. As stated in the Huffington Post article, Clayton Bullock, psychiatrist and co-author of “Male Victims of Sexual Assault: Phenomenology, Psychology, Physiology,” said: “Gay men are often targets of sexual assault because of gay-bashing, or because of conflicted feelings about the assailant’s own attraction to other men in which they are ‘exorcising their internalized homophobia.’ ” Additionally, Bullock raised the concern that perceptions of gay men as promiscuous only make it even more likely that others will downplay the problem, instead of seeking proper help and attention.

To create an environment in which victims of sexual misconduct feel safe in sharing their stories, we as a community must open up to listening to their stories sans biases not only of gender and sexuality, but also of other factors such as race, socio-economic status or religion.

However, we are not all-knowing and should not feel that way. Handling any case of sexual assault is an overwhelming task and can be an unexpected one. In our pursuit to create a better environment for victims, we should not feel pressured to know all the answers about how to help them. But it is very important that we make sure that they get the right kind of help, even if we are not the one providing it directly. That being said, sometimes it may be more helpful to just simply provide a listening ear beforehand.

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In the end, the most important thing we can do is to make sure victims feel like they have an outlet through which they can share their stories and seek help if they choose to do so. Having to endure the trauma of sexual misconduct is painful, especially when one has to go through it alone. Hopefully, we as a community will be able to improve the ways in which we deal with situations of sexual misconduct by creating an open, unbiased environment in which victims can share their stories.

Matthew Choi Taitano is a freshman fromYigo, Guam. He can be reached at mtaitano@princeton.edu.

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