Ask the Sexpert

DearSexpert,

My partner and I have decided to take things slow in our relationship. We have not had vaginal sex yet, but we’ve been doing other things like oral sex. I’m wondering about whether I should use protection for this kind of activity? My partner insists on going without protection. However, my friends keep telling me that it’d be a good idea to have it. I’m not exactly sure what I should do.

— Just Want To Be Safe

Dear Be Safe,

Thanks for reaching out! I’m glad that you are curious and concerned about your sexual health. Yourfriends are right — using protection is always a good idea! Whatever your partner’s reasons are for not using protection, you should know that sexually transmitted infections can be spread from one partner to another during both vaginal and non-vaginal sexual activities.

Whether you’re performing or receiving oral, anal, or vaginal sex, the risk of contracting STIs is always present when participating in these sexual activities. In fact, certain STIs can be present asymptomatically, like syphilis and gonorrhea, even though they can have serious long-term health effects. Without routine STI testing, individuals can go without treatment for these curable diseases.

The most common STI in the United States is human papillomavirus. You can contract HPV from oral, anal and vaginal intercourse. HPV refers to a group of over 100 related viruses. According to the National Cancer Institute, there are low-risk strains that can cause genital warts, but there are also high-risk strains of HPV that can result in cancer. HPV can cause cancer of the throat, anus, vulva or penis. In females, HPV can also cause cervical cancer, but this carcinogenic type of HPV is not the same type of HPV as those that cause genital warts. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there is no way of knowing whether or not a person with HPV will develop cancer from the virus, so routine testing is recommended. Fortunately, there is an HPV vaccine, which the Food and Drug Administration has approved for both males and females. Vaccinations are available at Sexual Health and Wellness in McCosh Health Center.

The good news is that you can lower your risk of infection by using a barrier method when performing any kind of penetrative sex. Dental dams are an inexpensive barrier that can be used to prevent the spread of STIs while participating in oral sex. They are available for free at McCosh Health Center and the LGBT Center. You can also craft your own by cutting a condom or a latex glove and placing the resulting square of latex over the vagina or anus before performing oral sex. Use an external condom — the kind you’d think of as a ‘regular’ condom — when performing oral sex on a penis. Condoms and dental dams must be used properly in order to be effective. You can make an appointment for easy, low-cost STI testing at McCosh.

That being said, it’s up to you to talk with your partner about using protection. You have the right to be respected, and you are in control of your own sexual health. It would be a great idea to communicate with your partner regarding your feelings about using protection. The websiteBeforePlayhas a great section on how to talk with your partner to help you get some ideas about where to begin!

—TheSexpert

A few sources:

http://bedsider.org/features/165

http://www.nakedtruth.idaho.gov/dental-dams.aspx