In postings, a tragic portrait of defiance

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"In my mind, the best way to prevent a kid from screwing up in college (which, incidentiallly [sic], can be caused as much by slacking off and playing videogames with fellow dormers as it can by alcohol or drugs) is to give him/her more freedom in [high school]," lucifer11287 wrote Jan. 15 on collegeconfidential.com, a college admissions message board. "Contrarily, if a kid is used to drinking/partying and doesn't consider it novel, then they will probably know how to fit alcohol into a successful lifestyle."

Lucifer11287 would probably have concluded that Matthew Pearlstone, a Cornell freshman who died of alcohol poisoning on March 17, the morning of St. Patrick's Day, while visiting the University of Virginia, was a novice drinker. But Matthew Pearlstone was lucifer11287.

Pearlstone, 19, who was from St. Louis, Mo., had a history of heavy drinking. He partied regularly on weekends and occasionally during the week, though "during the week, he'd have trouble finding people to drink with him," his Cornell housemate, Philip Chow, recalled in an interview, repeatedly referring to his friend in the present tense. "So what he does is he usually calls his friends on the phone and then takes shots with them."

The story of how Pearlstone died — accidental alcohol poisoning, the local coroner ruled — is not a unique one. About 36 college students die each year for reasons related to alcohol consumption, according to a recent analysis by USA Today. What makes Pearlstone's story different, however, is how publicly he discussed his drinking habits. And so, his is also a story about the ability of the Internet to capture, preserve and disseminate the otherwise private thoughts of a young man headed for tragedy.

"I can tell you, both statistically and anecdotally, that it is very rare and comparitively [sic] hard for someone to drink themselves to death," Pearlstone wrote as lucifer11287 on Jan. 10, two months before his death. "Me and my friends are all very experienced drinkers, and we all know exactly how we get when we drink too much, so we go by those signs."

"For those we don't know as well," he continued, "we ensure that they throw up (so they don't absorb any more alcohol from their stomach) and are responsive and reasonably coherent to make sure they won't die."

"Honestly, that's why I like drinking with experienced drinkers — it is MUCH harder for someone with a tolerence [sic] to drink themselves dead than it is for a drinking novice who has no idea of how to drink and also has no tolerence [sic]."

Julie Kovach, an assistant professor at the University of Michigan who followed lucifer11287's posts on College Confidential and often posted on the site herself, was particularly worried about Pearlstone's opinions toward alcohol.

"I remember being especially disturbed by his attitude and concerned that other teenagers might read his posts and think his behavior was 'normal' or accepted," Kovach, who is also a medical doctor, said in an email.

"He also was clearly intelligent and articulate ... and very persuasive in his twisted arguments that other teenagers were reading," Kovach said. "Lucifer11287 clearly knew the facts, but chose to continue his multiple high risk behaviors."

Kovach once examined a man, who was brain dead after attempting 21 shots on his 21st birthday, for viable organs for donation. None could be used; they were all too poisoned.

"Alcohol is the most commonly used and abused drug on college campuses," she said. "College years are a particularly high-risk time for young men and women who are experiencing freedom of choice for the first time in their lives, who don't have a clear grasp on their own mortality (what young person does?), and who don't know how much or what type of alcohol has what specific effects on them."

Chow, Pearlstone's housemate, remembered his facebook.com profile as being full of references to alcohol. The profile has been removed from the Facebook, but a screenshot of it is available on a blog.

Pearlstone listed his interests as "Drinking, running, partying." His favorite quotes were "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on" and "Water? Who drinks water?" He listed "Alcoholics Anonymous — Cornell Chapter," "BAC > GPA," "The Drunkety Drunk Drunks," "ENJOY IT NOW, BECAUSE AFTER COLLEGE ... IT'S CALLED ALCOHOLISM," among his Facebook group memberships. Of the 50 groups that listed him as a member, 18 alluded to alcohol.

In an eerie foreshadowing of his spring break plans, Pearlstone wrote, "It's St. Patrick's Day at UVa, what do you think I'm going to be doing?"

Pearlstone's fixation with alcohol wasn't the only notable aspect of his profile. After his death, his Facebook wall also featured heartfelt eulogies from several friends. "I remember the good old days when you were the kid in 7th grade with the star wars shirts in my 8th grade math class," wrote one friend. "Rest in Peace, Matt."

Chow wrote: "matt — here's to not going to classes... to watching movies and playing games... to having messy rooms... to one of the smartest kids i know... "

Pearlstone's housemates worried about his drinking. One of them tried to talk to him about it, Chow said, but Pearlstone "treated it as an everyday sort of thing." He regularly drank Everclear, a high-proof grain alcohol that has virtually no taste.

But in his posts, lucifer11287 insisted that he was in control of his drinking.

"I enjoy drinking, but I certainly don't go through life in a haze," he wrote. "I'm on track to either double or triple major plus get an MEng in 8 semesters, I run marathons for fun, and generally live life to its fullest," he wrote in a post dated Jan. 11, one day after other posters criticized his defense of his drinking habits.

"I do not drink myself into a stupor and waste days, months and years. Drinking is a recreational activity that I very much enjoy, but I keep it in its place — drinking only with friends and only when it won't interfere with my other goals," he added. "Alcohol hasn't limited me in any way, nor has it ever prevented me from achieving success."

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