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E-PrinceWhen I first applied to Princeton, I never would have thought that it would be illustrated as prime grounds for husband-hunting, but according to President of the Class of 1977 Susan Patton, we would be missing out if we didn ...
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your article literally added 0 insight to the issue.
I believe feminism and the desire for women to be valued in the same ways in which we value men will be the downfall of modern society. A woman as does a man
striving for a successful career generally has to work hard and often in high pressured environments to meet deadlines. How then does a mother who wishes to be a mother in the truest sense and not employ a nanny look after her child when they are ill in work hours. How does the mother have time to cook and provide fresh nutritious food for their child after school when the child is hungry. Many mothers who work will either have to make their hungry children wait (generally while watching the tv or playing on computer games in order to keep them good) while they cook a healthy evening meal (after which the young child is too tired to practise supervised reading/ homework), or they will provide a processed quick meal. Society generally no longer values home skills such as cooking for children and therefore many mothers have no option but to buy pre prepared meals. In the olden days when women were valued for being good mothers and home makers a homecooked meal would be ready straight after school. The mother would have time to spend reading to their child after this and the child may also have had some quality time to complete some exercise.
My children attend a care club after school so that I can work hours equal to a man's. They have a snack there. By the time I get them home they are tired, too tired to sit still and eat well. There is minimal time for quality interaction, learning or exercise. I earn far more that my husband and our mortgage depends on my income. Maybe my husband could be a stay at home dad. However, I want to be a real mum. Maybe I would not be the best because I did not value home economics at school as a qualification -that would not get me into a good university. Also, as I concentrated on my professional carer and lived away at college and university eating junk food I was not taught how to grow and cook nutritious food by my mother or grandmother as much as I would have liked. My husband in my opinion would be less suited to the role as he neither has the patience or desire and would be happy for them to eat pizza all week. I am trapped by my intellectual achievements and career from being the mum I wish.
I believe the desire for women to be valued in terms of their career creates unhealthy children who have a high risk of cancer, heart disease and obesity due to a lack of fresh homecooked meals and a lack of exercise. Their intellectual potential is restricted not only by the above but also by mothers not having the time to sit with the child and by the time a mother has completed the chores the child is too tired to participate.
As mothers are at work and not at home the whole family unit is broke down. Grandparents are forced into nursing homes as they have no one to look after them. Their immense knowledge and skill is not passed down to the grandchildren. Perversely the woman who wants to be a real mum is trapped into her career by having to pay child care costs and nursing home costs (in real terms through a loss of inheritance money).
So overall if you can find an intellectual man who values you for you feminine skills as well as you intellect. Who can provide an intellectually stimulating conversation, a good gene pool and financial security for your children should you desire them then why not.
It is wrong for women who have maternal instincts only to be given career advice they also need family advice. They may gain a brilliant career but can they have a brilliant career as successful as a man and still be a true mum in its true sense. I do not believe this is true unless you have an exceptional job with extreme flexibility.
Women are different to men and we should be valued differently. Only then can we be treated as equals. Only then can we make real choices in life and not get trapped in a man's world. And only then will truly value men for there qualities too.
What a rarity to hear honesty from Ms. Princeton '77 and the commenter above! Good thing college freshman know everything and certainly need no wisdom of decades, centuries, or millenia to know how very happy she will be with their marital "opponent," even if he be a she. Is there any place to find bigger fools than the inflated minds of the progressive institutions of "learning (how right we are)"? Has any regime in history done womankind more damage than the last century of academia? As a woman, I laugh at Ms. Princeton's coarse honesty, and as an intellectual who gave up a career path to mother I am moved with compassion for the much more useful insights given in the straightforward comment above.
To the above commentors...what about a daughter whose parents are forcing her to find a boyfriend at Princeton? Even though she has a perfectly suitable, caring, intelligent boyfriend outside of Princeton?
I didn't go to an ivy league school. But I have met many people who have been graduated from Princeton, Harvard, Brown, Yale, etc. And of these 200 + people, Princetonians rank by far as my least favorite. They are among the most entitled and arrogant, prissy people I have ever met. The campus is beautiful.
The students, by and large, are not. For god's sake Princetonians seem to think that "bickering" is a worthy pursuit. How do you chose one of the most unpleasant words in the english language to be your "rite" of passage? How remarkably petty. So Ms. 77's attitude of God and Princeton comes as no surprise: in my mind Princeton is synonymous with smarmy, preppy, waspiness. Yes, you have some great minds working there and fine museum collection. Old money changes everything, doesn't it?
What about a stay at home father? I personally was raised by my father who gave up his career while my mother worked 50 hours a week as a contract administrator. My mother was more successful in her career than my father and became the bread winner of the family. My brother and I had a parent home to get us on and off the bus each day, pack our lunch, cook us dinner, help us with our homework and ensure we played outside enough since electronics and TV were banned during the week. I never spent more than a few days apart from him until high school. The family dynamic doesn't necessarily need to be defined as a mother staying to look after her kids. I admit that having one parent to stay home to raise kids instead of daycares is very important, but I think it is ignorant to assume only women are qualified to be the primary care giver.
Many, many thousands of highly intelligent people come from colleges and universities outside the Ivy League. Ms. Patton uses intelligence, but what she really means is wealth and social standing.
I find it interesting that your argument is about how your personal experience differs from that of Ms. Patton, and yet you feel it appropriate to issue a blanket statement regarding the "emotional maturity" of your classmates.
a verbose load of recycled and barely coherent arguments dressed in SAT vocab
Isabelle, I understand where you're coming from. I was you once...but fast forward 15-20yrs and you may find yourself feeling differently about what you've written. You're young and it's your right to grow and change--but just consider that maybe Susan has a point: challenging the women at Princeton to think ahead about what they may well be seeking in 15-20yrs time and see if they may want to make some different choices now.
No one's saying go to college to just find a mate at Princeton. Rather, I believe her message is to start considering early about that side of your life--partner, children, family--before you find yourself pressured for time.
Someone who'd cared enough had given me similar advice in the past, but I didn't really appreciate it the same way I do now.
Try to understand that women alumns may not always give advice that's exactly right for you, but we've been where you are and genuinely come from a place of wanting to share the lessons we've learned so you can make informed decisions.