Top Ten Ways to Tell Your Parents Your First Semester Grades

1) “Hey, have you heard about the Harvard cheating scandal?”

2) “Grade deflation, grade deflation, grade deflation.”

3) “C stands for Congratulations!” 

4) “SOC 101 is the hardest class at Princeton, you wouldn’t understand.”

5) “I was just helping the curve.”

6) “I’m a senior and I already have a job.”

7) “Facebook gave me ADD.”

8) “I had gastro, mono and strep.” 

9) “I stayed up way too late studying on Thursday nights.”

10) “I thought I was P/D/Fing...?”