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Street: Top Ten Things Not to Do at the Bonfire

Written by Daily Princetonian Staff,
Published: Thursday, November 15th, 2012

1) Show up naked.

2) Bring effigies of your enemies.

3) Try to light a cigar in the flames.

4) Challenge the Fire Marshals to a duel.

5) Roast a turkey.

6) Shoot firecrackers.

7) Tip over the fire trucks ...

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Viewing 8 comments...

  • 4:43 a.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    Alum

    Um, haha, sort of, I guess. Not exactly Onion-quality satire.

  • 7:49 a.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    jokes

    Ahhh Prince humor

  • 3:01 p.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    Mr. Brightside

    Lame.....

  • 4:11 p.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    meh

    This is about as good at the comics.

  • 4:30 p.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    '15

    Haters can hate, I like this.

  • 11:11 p.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    why

    are these never funny? It could SO EASILY be funny.

  • 11:37 p.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    Student

    Seven things to do (that can only be done) at the bonfire:

    1. Yell "fire!" in a crowded public space.

    2. Associate with people who've travel two hours on a Saturday to witness the burning of wooden pallets.

    3. Hear passerbys on Nassau street whisper, while pointing, "what a bunch of idiots."

    4. Immolate a squirrel without attracting attention.

    5. Produce a scene from the cinematographic hybrid between *A Beautiful Mind* and *Firestorm*.

    6. See Princeton students performing physical labor without feeling insecurity.

    7. Behold a metaphor for General Patraeus' career.

  • 11:51 p.m. on Nov. 15th, 2012
    Posted by
    @Student

    Congratulations. You managed to be less funny than the original list.

    (Except #4. That one is pretty good.)

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