1) Bring an apple to precept.
2) Compliment their supply and demand curves.
3) “Your ideas are seriously way better than the professor’s.”
4) Suggest going over your paper over a candlelit dinner.
5) Move your seat progressively closer to them every week.
6) Fail your exam so you can score some one-on-one tutoring.
7) Draw hearts all over your problem sets.
8) Wear nothing but chalk dust to precept.
9) Offer to let them probe you for their research.
10) “Say ‘dissertation’ again ... but slower.”