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E-PrinceIn the final week of August last year, after receiving my housing assignment for my first year of college, I indulged myself in a short trip down Route 1 South with a high school friend in tow to check out ...
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not for me...not for me. try again lekha im sure you'll do better next time.
Considering how over-represented Princeton (and New Jersey for that matter) is, this story really isn't any sort of unique or fascinating. Give me the story of a Montana Princetonian next time.
i liked this article.
beautiful article. very surreal
If you're open to some constructive criticism:
I liked the tone of this article, there's some great imagery too. However, there's a bunch of run-on sentences that made me have to reread them when I was only halfway through. Try to break up the incessant comma usage with some semicolons, this would help the flow immensely IMO.
Lovely article, poised and without straining for effect.
'13: Just because other people come from the same place doesn't mean they have had the same experience.
And (and you know this already) there are no run-on sentences.
i know you won't because you're a good and confident writer, but do not edit out the flow of your work because someone else thinks your sentences are too long!
the last sentence -- about being eager to leave -- was really surprising .
Quite frankly, I don't think the sentences are too long. Sometimes sentence length is a function of voice. In this case I feel stringing the various details of the knowledge you have as a result of having lived here for so long is a necessary feature; it proves that you do in fact have this "double vision" going on.
More fundamentally, it was perfectly clear and easy to read. I didn't feel any ambiguity or cumbersome construction.
Nit: Princeton Junction is not a neighbor of West Windsor; it's in it.
Prediction: you won't be anxious to leave the bubble.
Get out of the bubble lekha, get out of that bubble.