Princeton Dictionary: H-R

The following is a haphazard collection of Princeton buzzwords that may or may not make up your entire vocabulary by the time midterms roll around. Impress your mom and dad by talking cool.

Some of the terms are unique to Princeton, some are universal, some are entertaining and some are, quite frankly, stupid. Enjoy.  

H

Halo Pub, n. After factoring in price, arguably the best ice cream in town, rivaling “T-Sweets.”
hard-core, 1. adj. Possessed of a particular quality or aspect to the nth degree, as in “hard-core pre-med.” 2. adj. The kind of music played on WPRB. 3. n. Heavy drinker.

Hargadon, Fred, n. Former dean of admission who retired in 2003, known just as “Dean Fred.” Often spotted at women’s sporting events. Famous for his “YES!” letters and for remembering applications for years.

Harvard University, n. Obscure unaccredited institution in eastern Massachusetts, where many Princetonians go for graduate school. We hate them. We beat them in lacrosse and basketball, among other sports. See “Fun Czar,” “rival.”

Hoagie Haven, n. Take-out deli on Nassau Street known for its inexpensive hoagies (subs, heroes). A long walk from campus, but well worth it. Also called “The Haven.”

Hogue, James, n. Class of 1993 student who gained admission to Princeton under the alias Alexi Indris-Santana by claiming to be a self-educated orphan. He was actually a 31-year-old convicted felon. Turned up again several years ago impersonating a graduate student and was arrested. He has also been charged with stealing jewels from a Harvard museum, where he worked after leaving Princeton.

Honor Code, n. Institution through which University exams are policed. Students sign pledges agreeing not to cheat on exams and to turn in those who do. Taken very seriously. Note: take-home problem sets, papers and labs are not covered by the code.

hose, v. To render helpless. Most often done to rejected Bicker prospects.
Houseparties, n. Pseudo-bacchanal scheduled for the weekend after the end of spring semester classes. Theses are complete and exams are two weeks distant. The only ones who have it bad are freshman males who aren’t invited, who so hopelessly outnumber the females that the dining halls look like Princeton before co-education. Dates often flee by day three.

Hughes, Roger, n. Beleaguered head coach of the football team who took over the team in 2000. Has yet to produce a bonfire (See “bonfire.”). Tigers went 5-5 in 2004, but could have been better if not for a few late-game mishaps.

I

ICC, abbrev. Interclub Council, group made up of the 10 eating club presidents. Coordinates relations between Prospect Avenue and the University. Current president is Marco Fossati-Bellani ’07.

independent, n. Upperclass student who joins neither a club nor a University dining facility. By graduation, is either a great connoisseur of Princeton’s restaurants, a great cook or a great mooch. Many live in Spelman Hall.

Intersession, n. Week off between fall finals and the start of spring semester. The only week of true freedom you will ever have at Princeton.
Ivy Club, n. Oldest Bicker club on the Street. Formerly aristocratic and all-male, now aristocratic and coed.

J

Jadwin, n. 1. Physics building located near Fine Hall. 2. Jadwin Gymnasium, varsity athletic facility and site of the basketball stadium and squash courts.

Julian Street Library, n. Wilson College’s library, located in Wilcox Hall. Open 24 hours. Home to its own underclassmen subculture and sanctuary to upperclassmen pulling all-nighters. Known as “J-Street.” See “all-nighter.”

K

kiosk, n. $50,000 security posts located at campus entrances. Manned by officers who have the difficult job of saying, “Where are you going? O.K., go ahead.”

L

lacrosse, n. The new king sport. Princeton’s men’s team won the national title in 1992, 1994, 1996, 1997, 1998 and 2001 (See “Tierney, Bill”). The women were national champs in 1994, 2002 and 2003.

lacrosse culture, phrase. Existence in which male undergraduates constantly grab the shaft, cradle the balls and hope to score.

Lawnparties, n. Afternoon drink-a-thon and dance-a-thon on the lawn of each eating club, held in early fall and at the end of spring Houseparties. Known for importing great bands and recruiting girls in sun dresses to Prospect Avenue.

lectures, n.pl. 1. Oft-missed speeches by professors that constitute the foundation of the Princeton education. 2. Tasteless and sometimes offensive public humiliation sessions held at Cottage Club, or so we hear. See “Cottage Club.”

Lewis Thomas Laboratory, n. Houses the molecular biology department and droves of undergraduate concentrators during the summers. See “Mol bio.”

Lohman, Michael, n. Former mathematics graduate student banned from campus last year after it was discovered that he had been depositing his own semen and urine in the drinks of Asian women and cutting their hair to line mittens used for self-gratification. Generally considered to be the creepiest, most disgusting thing to come out of Princeton in a couple of centuries.

Lot 21, n. Undergraduate parking lot in South Brunswick, near Jadwin Gym. For those unfortunates who don’t get permits in Lot 23. See “Lot 23.”

Lot 23, n. Coveted undergraduate parking lot. Suffers from chronic overcrowding.

M

Malkiel, Nancy, n. Dean of the College who oversees academic affairs on campus and crusades against grade inflation. Rarely seen without her miniature schnauzer, Skipper.

master, n. Faculty member who acts as den mother or father for the freshmen and sophomores in the residential colleges.

Mathey College, n. (pron. “Maddy”) Residential college consisting of Joline, Hamilton, Campbell and most of Blair halls. Also includes part of Edwards this year while Hamilton is renovated.

Mathey-Rockefeller Library, n. Study library in Madison Hall shared between Mathey and Rockefeller colleges. Dim lighting breeds interesting subculture. Also known as “Rocky-Mathey.”

McCarter Theatre, n. Tony award-winning, University-subsidized stage building. Site of Triangle Club shows, public concerts, film series, plays, etc. Best plays off Broadway. Includes the new Berlind Theatre.

McCosh Hall, n. Primary classroom facility, bound at either end by two vast lecture halls, McCosh 10 and McCosh 50.

McCosh Health Center, n. Isabella McCosh Infirmary, located just south of Frist. Organizes such memorable annual events as FluFest. Areas of expertise: mono and pregnancy.

McCosh Walk, n. Walkway extending from University Place on the west to Washington Road on the east. If there weren’t hills and construction, you’d be able to see clear from one end of campus to the other.

Menendez, Lyle ’92, n. Former student from Beverly Hills who, along with his younger brother Erik, confessed to murdering his parents with a double-barreled shotgun. His first trial was declared a mistrial. He and his brother were found guilty in a second trial and sentenced to life in prison without parole.

Miller, B.J. ’94, n. Former student who jumped on top of the Dinky one drunken night and sued N.J. Transit, the University, a fraternity and two eating clubs for his injuries. The main reason that freshmen have so much trouble getting into the clubs and obtaining beer. See “Dinky.”

Mol Bio, n. Moniker for the molecular biology department. See “Lewis Thomas Laboratory.”

Morrison, Toni, n. Nobel and Pulitzer prize-winning author. Most famous professor at the University, though students will see as much of her after her retirement as they did before.

Mudd Manuscript Library, n. Library that stores manuscripts and important papers. Where senior theses go to die.

N

Nash, John GS ’50, n. University mathematician depicted in “A Beautiful Mind.” Biggest celebrity on campus. Often found hanging out at Bucks County Coffee Company or shuffling to or from the Dinky.

Nassau Herald, n. Princeton’s yearbook, containing only the senior photos. To get all the other stuff you associate with yearbooks, you have to shell out some extra cash for the Bric-a-Brac. See “Bric-a-Brac.”

Nassau Inn, n. Princeton’s most prestigious — and only — downtown hotel.

Nassau Weekly, n. Also “The Nass.” A weekly tabloid distributed Thursday nights. Known for humorous “Verbatim” section (random quotations) and non-sensical “Weekend” page (random jibberish)

New Jersey (‘noo joizee’), n. State in which Princeton is located. The nation’s leading industrial state, notwithstanding its nickname: “The Garden State.” Affectionately called “the armpit of the nation” by friend, foe and geographer alike.

New South, n. Administrative building and monument to red tape that overlooks the Dinky. The place where you go when the University messes up your PUDS paycheck or you need a new prox card. See “prox.”

New York, n. Big city located one hour away by train. You’ve seen pictures. Weekend getaway. Called “The City.”

New York Times, The, n. Princeton’s other daily newspaper.

Newman’s Day, n. To Paul Newman’s chagrin, students attribute the quote, “24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not” to him. Of course, Newman never said that, and there are 30 beers in a case, but this doesn’t stop University students from attempting to drink 24 beers in 24 hours each Apr. 24.

Nude Olympics, n. Sophomore rite of passage banned in 1999 as part of an effort to reduce drunken revelry. Celebrated by running naked through Holder Courtyard at midnight on the night of each year’s first snowfall. See “Rule of Four.”

Nuts and Sluts, phrase. Popular nickname for PSY 207: “Abnormal Psychology.”

O

OA, abbrev. Outdoor Action. Week-long pre-orientation program that sends half of the incoming freshman class into the woods to get dirty and make friends.

OIT, abbrev. Office of Information Technology. They control the University’s computer systems and make life extremely complicated for the more computer illiterate among us. Convenient office in Frist is a plus, though.

Old Nassau, 1. phrase. Nickname for Princeton University, derived from Nassau Hall. Other synonyms — Tigers, Tigertown, Orange and Black, Nassau, P.U., P-Town. 2. n. The alma mater, sung at the end of athletic contests, arch sings and other events.

Olive’s, n. A Witherspoon Street deli popular among University students. Has excellent chocolate chip cookies. Now has a satellite location in the U-Store’s convenience store. See “U-2.”

One Nassau, n. Local equivalent of the Oval Office, where President Tilghman works. Consider yourself important if you’re ever invited here.

Orange Key, n. Campus tour-guiding group. Just don’t believe everything they told you on your tour (See “Alexander Hall,” “Chapel”). Selects new members by audition each winter. Was taken over by the Admission Office recently.

Orefice, Stu, n. Appropriately named director of Dining Services. Very proud of his culinary options.

Orgo, abbrev. Chemistry 301/302 and 303/304 (Biological Emphasis): Organic Chemistry, which separates the kids from the doctors.

OWL, abbrev. Organization of Women Leaders. Founded by two students from the Class of 2003. Brags membership of more than 300 students. Holds many lectures and events. Complains a lot. Angers The Tory. See “Tory, The.”

P

PAC, abbrev. Personal Authorization Code. The seven-digit number the University gives you that lets you place long-distance calls from your room. You’ll forget yours, too.

Palmer Square, n. Times Square, Herald Square and La Place de la Concorde all rolled into one. Just across Nassau Street from the University. Home to outrageously priced preppy boutiques, specialty stores and townies with weirdly-colored hair. See “townie.”

Panera, n. Moderately priced Nassau Street sandwich shop. Common means of avoiding Sunday dinners in the dining halls. See “PUDS.”

PAW, abbrev. Princeton Alumni Weekly, the nation’s fourth-oldest weekly magazine, except it’s not weekly. Published by the University.

P/D/F, abbrev. Pass/D/Fail. Grading option developed to facilitate a true liberal arts education. See “grade inflation.”

Penn, n. Community college in Philadelphia that comes in second to us in every major sport. They hate us; we used to ignore them until they started competing with us in everything. Following popular provost Amy Gutmann’s departure from Princeton to become Penn’s president, they have been known to chant, “We’ve got Amy!” See “basketball,” “rival.”

Pequod, n. 1. Fictional ship in Herman Melville’s “Moby-Dick.” 2. Expensive photocopied packets of required reading that often resemble that whale. About to become free after every USG election.
PFARS, abbrev. Princeton First Aid and Rescue Squad. Luxury taxi service offering free rides from McCosh or the Street to UMCP. See “boot,” “UMCP.”

Philly, n. The other city near Princeton. History of the nation’s founders embedded in a town full of notoriously rude sports fans and cheesesteaks.

Physics for Poets, n. Revealing nickname for PHY 111: Contemporary Physics.

pick-ups, n.pl. Days on which the eating clubs greet new members by showering them with champagne in their dorm rooms.

Poe Field, n. Athletic field South of Scully, rapidly diminishing in size. See “Bloomberg.”

Power Hour, n. Ritual in which a shot of beer is downed every minute for an hour. Use of hard alcohol not recommended. See “boot.”

P-rade, n. Annual procession of ridiculously spirited, multi-generational alumni sporting beer jackets. Takes place at the end of Reunions. See “alumni,” “Reunions.”

precept, n. Fifty-minute weekly discussion between a small group of students and a preceptor — a grad student or faculty member — to supplement lectures. A unique feature of Princeton’s education system inaugurated by Woodrow Wilson 1879. Ranges from mind-boggling and stimulating to mind-numbingly boring.

pre-frosh, n. What you are until you arrive on campus as a freshman.

pre-med, n. Unscrupulous fanatic who will do anything to get into Harvard Medical School. Generally has a thing for pain. See “Orgo.”

preppy, n. 1. Person who attended St. Paul’s, Andover, Exeter, Lawrenceville, Groton, etc. 2. Princeton supposedly is one of the 10 preppiest schools in the nation, but don’t be fooled: It’s top five.

Pride Alliance, n. Formerly LGBTQA. Organization of campus gays, lesbians, bisexuals, trandgendered people and straight allies. Hosts dances, film festivals, Pride Week.

‘Prince,’ n. 1. Without single quotes, a work by Machiavelli. 2. The Daily Princetonian — campus newspaper published by undergraduates each weekday. Now free and delivered to your doorstep. See “Daily Princetonian, The.”

Princeton, n. 1. The University  to which you have committed four years of your life. 2. Princeton Borough, the town that covers the north half of campus, the Street and Nassau Street. Run by the Borough Council. Often complains that the University should give it more money. 3. Princeton Township, the larger town that covers the south half of campus and beyond. See “Forbes College.”

Princeton Plasma Physics Lab (PPPL), n. Federally-funded research lab run by the University that made headlines in 1994 when Russell Hulce won a Nobel Prize and in 1995 for being the victim of massive federal budget cuts. Will be at the center of research in the International Thermonuclear Experimental Reactor project.

Princeton Theological Seminary, n. Divinity school located a block from Forbes College.

proctor, n. Archaic term for campus police officer. See “Public Safety, Department of.”

Prospect, n. 1. Former president’s home in the middle of campus. Now a faculty dining hall. 2. Prospect Gardens. 3. Prospect Avenue. See “Street, the.”

Prospect 10, n. The ultimate drinking challenge: one beer at every club in one night. Called the “Prospect 11” before the closure of Campus.

prox, 1. n. Common name for PUID — the Princeton University ID card. 2. v. To unlock a door by holding your PUID close to an electronic sensor. Humping the wall in the process is optional.

Public Safety, Department of, n. University’s corps of crack law-enforcement officers responsible for regulating parking, ignoring room parties and opening doors for locked-out students.

PUDS, abbrev. 1. Princeton University Dining Services. 2. College food — enough said. See “Orefice, Stu.”

PUID, n. Your ticket to admission at the library, sporting events and the eating clubs. Charges variety of goods and services home to parents. Includes a device that lets you into locked dorms and other facilities. See “prox.”

Pyne, n. 1. Pyne Hall, a seven-entry dormitory. 2. East Pyne, part of the Andlinger Center for the Humanities and home to Classics and most language departments. 3. Pyne Prize, awarded annually to top-ranking seniors.

Q

Quadrangle Club, n. Popular sign-in club of late. Cooperates with Alcohol Initiative and has the best Lawnparties band.

Quipfire!, n. The University’s first and most well-known improvisational comedy group. Its fall auditions rival the Bicker clubs in selectivity.

R

rabbits, n. pl. Rapidly rivalling squirrels as the dominant furry friends on campus. See “squirrel.”

RCA, abbrev. Residential College Adviser. Provides free food (see “Study break”), flavored condoms (see “SECH”) and answers to questions like what to do when your roommate hasn’t showered in five weeks.

Rapelye, Janet Lavin, n. Dean of Admission who replaced Fred Hargadon in 2003. Has revamped Princeton’s admissions policies, including accepting the Common App, eliminating small group interviews and abolishing the “YES!” letter.

reading period, n. Week-and-a-half to catch up on work at the end of each semester. Originally intended as time to do independent research, it is now a time to sleep in until 2 p.m. ... or to read and write everything you haven’t in the past semester.

reserve room, n. Room on Firestone’s A-floor that exists ostensibly for students to check out reserve readings. Books and articles circulate for three hours and overnight after 9 p.m. Rapidly being replaced by e-reserves.

Reunions, n. Beer-saturated gathering of alumni during the weekend before Commencement for drink, fellowship and the P-rade. Good excuse for students to delay returning home for a week at the end of the year. See “P-rade.”

Richardson Auditorium, n. Largest auditorium on campus, located in Alexander Hall. Site of a cappella jams, orchestra concerts and big-name speakers and performers — if you can get tickets.

rival, n. What Princeton lacks. See “Harvard,” “Penn,” “Yale.”
Robertson Hall, n. Name of the Wilson School building after an alumnus and his wife made a huge donation. Wilson School seniors rejoice in its fountain after handing in senior theses. See “Fountain of Freedom.”

Robo, n. Drinking game involving bouncing a quarter into a series of beer-filled cups. See “Tiger Inn,” “boot.”

Rockefeller College, n. Residential college composed of Buyers, Witherspoon, Holder and part of Little Hall. Known as “Rocky” and considered prime real estate by underclassmen. Named after guess who.

room draw, n. Computerized process by which students select rooms for the upcoming year. Conspiracy theories abound about the supposed randomness of the process: People with high social security numbers, third letters of their last names near the end of the alphabet and Minnesota addresses may receive better times.

ROTC, abbrev. Reserve Officer Training Corp, the army training program on campus. Makes a lot of noise early in the morning. Ethical status currently disputed.

Rule of Four, The, n. Closest a Princeton student has ever come to masturbating without actually touching himself. Contains gratutious references to Ivy, the Nude Olympics, campus steam tunnels — yes, they do exist and, despite what Public Safety would have you belive, people do go into them — and various libraries and dorms.

Rumsfeld, Donald ’54, n. Secretary of Defense who has foresaken his philosophy major roots. Was once a member of Cap & Gown and the captain of the wrestling team.